BrotherBbad's Biography

Aug. 14, 2007

Posted by Ron Beck under Biography
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Ron "BrotherBbad" Beck was born in Rockford, Illinois, in poverty, of indeterminate race, the illegitimate son of an itinerant steel working family that wandered the American Midewest Plains, looking for "Greener Grass" or simply a fence to climb. Date of birth, unknown, but generally believed to have occurred sometime during the Vietnam war.

A colicky infant, Beck's parents moved to Loves Park, Illinois when he was 5 years old to try to get away from him, and are thought to have often longed for their own "John Wayne Gacy" type incident, according to individuals who were acquainted with the early Beck family.

After infancy, Ron became twenty. Not too many years later, he out grew puberty and turned twenty one. It would be many, many years, however, before he was 48.

Abashed, touchy, even prickly over his lack of formal education, Beck resents anyone who is "well-educated"...and has adopted the unbecoming habit of taping a bumper-sticker message to the inside back window of the Saturn SL-1 he neither deserves nor would have had he not lucked-out years ago and attached himself parasitically to a wealthy Houston Family. It reads: "MY CHILD JUST BEAT THE S*** OUT OF YOUR HONOR STUDENT." Ugly.

Ron had worked in radio since the Mousterian Era. He was employed by Rockford, Illinois radio station WLUV after his father begged an acquaintance and one/third owner of the company to help get Ron out of the Strip Clubs where he hustled "Ladies Of Ill Repute". Ron had worked "in radio" for one week at WLUV when President Carter was crushed by former California Governor, Ronald Regan. He denies any memory of this time period. During the melancholy aftermath of that terrible period, Beck became fall down, urp-on-your-shoes, drunk. The station's general manager asked Beck if he could read. "Read? I went to Harlem", Beck replied, and was dutifully awarded "Mid-Days". The first words Beck ever broadcast were the call letters of then infamous WLS, which would have been perfect had he worked there.

Ron then moved to a larger radio station in Rockford, then on to Houston, Texas, where, ironically, he was employed by every english speaking radio station in the city, at one time or another, before burning those bridges, while at the same time boring the ba-jesus out club patrons on Houston's noth side. Sad.

While in Houston, Ron became married to his brother, Johnnie, whom he met in a galaxy long, long ago, and far, far away. They have no children whom Beck will admit too. Although it wasn't from lack of effort, just "E.D.".

Beck has no hobbies, interests, or outside activities - opting, instead, to devote all of his energies to formulating the "perfect hang over cure", one which he admits doesn't exist.

Ron does embarrass himself at the bars with his inept abilities at the art of conjour, however...crafts dance music mixes (poorly)...lets his "meticulously restored", (a term that he uses), Honda Civic DX rot in the lot in front of his house...and enjoys taunting his champion "Red Wiggler", Pedro (named from a 1999 teenie bopper movie "Varsity Bules", Where first string quarterback Lance Harbor, is seriously injured, Mox is brought in to finish the season and win Coach Bud Kilmer's district championship. Mox begins to realize the toughness and hardship of being a starter, but with tough things comes rewards and to Mox's suprise he finds out that him being starter brings more than he can handle, like popularity, women, etc.), Beck thinks that this could actually happen to him. Pathetic.

Ron has, only very recently, reached a personal decision to clear his conscience and admit...he is Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern's father, and wonders if any money is involved.